When I arrive at 8:30 am, the team is already behind on their work having had to send the kids to the PICU. This is not how I wanted to start my first night of call for Heme-Onc. As we scramble to catch up and sign out, the time flies by.

At 5:00 pm, I finally get a chance to sit and think about lunch. It's been a busy day, but only it was a steady stream of work, nothing too overwhelming. The patients on the floor haven't been causing too much trouble, and there's only been one patient admitted; We'll call her Amy. Amy is 4, has a brain tumor and unfortunately the prognosis is grim. On a recent admission, just a few days before, her mom signed a DNR order. She comes in today unresponsive, but breathing from on outside hospital. When I see her she only responds a little when I rub her chest. It turns out that her sugars are high (>1000!). While she may not have much time left and she may be DNR, I think we can treat this and she could wake up. Mom repeats that just yesterday she had been walking and talking. I'm already worried.

It's 10:30 pm and we're finishing night rounds. We've checked on all the patients - 20 kids tucked and ready for bed. Just as we're finishing, we hear from one of the nurses that there is a patient in the ER likely to be an admission. As we're about to go the ER, Amy's nurse come up running out her room to ask if we can come check on her breathing. We had just seen her minutes before and she looked comfortable but breathing a little fast.

We enter the room and another nurse is suctioning her trach. Putting my stethoscope to her chest, I listen for breath sounds. Nothing. I move to the other side. Again nothing. I look up with fear at the nurses. I was just in here. She was breathing then. They continue to suction. Still nothing. No heart sounds either.

Mom is sleeping in the corner. We tell the nurses that we need to wake up mom. I continue to listen. I don't know how long it's been, but I feel like I've been listening to this silence forever. I can hear mom saying she was just walking and talking yesterday. She wasn't ready. How could she be? My senior looks at her watch. Amy is dead.

More nurses have come to help. They move with such a purposeful poise. They remove all the lines and plugs from Amy and clean her so that mom can hold her child one last time. Someone is covering the door so no one can look in. I'm standing on the side. Awkward just staring at mom searching for words. As she sits in the chair crying I try to think of something to say. Anything. Why have I gone blank? They even make us practice for this very moment in medical school. I thought I was ready. But I'm not.

I sit next to mom and place my hand on her shoulder. I opening my mouth just to close it again. She wants to be alone, so we all leave the room.

It's 11:30pm and now we have three patients in the ER. It's close to 4 am by the time I'm finished working to admit the new patients. By the time I back on the floor, I see they are cleaning Amy's room. I missed it all. Amy's mom has left with her family. I'm tired, but more than anything I feel defeated. I still don't know what to say, but I know I wanted to say something. But my chance is gone. I'm not sure what scares me more - that I won't know what to say again next time, or that I'm pretty much guaranteed a next time.

Since a large percentage of my dining out is actually comprised of Asian foods, it's ironic that back when I would actually formally review restaurant for fun, I never wrote a review for a Japanese restaurant. Even more surprising, when asked which Japanese restuarant in Chicago is my favorite I always have to stop and think about it. The answer really depends on what you're looking for in a Japanese food and what you're going to order. I mean, there are certainly standards of freshness, but I there are also just variations in taste expectation.

Here are three worth trying for different reasons:

Kaze
2032 W Roscoe St
Chicago, IL 60618
773.327.4860

Kaze may be my overall favorite of the bunch for it's creativity and quality. However, it is for that same reason that many may not enjoy it as much. For example, on this summer's omakase Chef's interplay of savory and sweet is very well done, but for those expecting a more traditional Japanese menu this may not be the best choice. While they can certainly handle more traditional items, it's just not worth the price.

The summer omakase:

Homemade tofu garnished with slivered almonds, mozzarella, boiled shrimp & black caviar paired with a tofu skin shooter in a soymilk & blue curacao liquor


Tuna Zuke Maki - Avocado & scallions wrapped inside out served with zuke tuna, cucumbers, wasabi mayo & tobiko

Awabi (Abalone topped with Kaze’s homemade sauce finished with yuzu & tempura flakes), Spicy Tako (A mixture of octopus, okra, fried garlic, tobiko & spicy mayo), White Tuna (East coast tuna topped with a bananawasabi puree), Katsuo (Bonito topped with a puree of garlic-infused enoki mushrooms & tomatoes garnished with pickled onions & fried garlic), Ika (Japanese baby squid topped with a spicy tobiko sauce)

Baked Whitefish - A crepe wrapped around slices of ankimo, minced shrimp & whitefish finished with Macku’s strawberry sauce served with a smoked salmon & cheese-filled dough







Mizu

315 W North Ave

Chicago, IL60610
312.951.8883

Yakitori is actually surprisingly hard to find in Chicago. But Mizu in old town has a nice selection of Yakitori (including gems like chicken skin and tongue) made fresh on the grill along with its sushi and ala cart menu. While not quite as good as pure yakitori restaurants in LA and NY, Mizu fills the much needed void in Chicago.

Chicken and Scallions








Squid, Chicken meatball

Sashimi

Chicken Skin









Chicken Wings







Ginza

19 E Ohio St
Chicago, IL 60611-2707
Phone: (312) 222-0600

Ginza, a small restaurant next to the ultra-shady Tokyo Hotel, is more of a tradition Japanese restaurant. The menu may not be flashy, but it full of value. Included on the menu are hard to find classics like Gold Don (uni, squid and ikura on rice).